It's hard to know how to fit into this world sometimes. I love taking care of my family and teaching my kids. I'm an unemployed stay at home mom. I love it but I feel guilty that my husband is the only one working. When I let go of my guilt I love being a stay at home mom, home schooler and wife. Then the guilt kicks back in and I feel like I should be pounding the pavement for a job that will put money in the bank.
My husband says he wants me home but the reality is he wants me to work. Every week he makes comments about me getting a job, going to school to be an nurse or having the "Life of Riley".

He's a psych nurse and just got accepted for his bachelor's in nursing. It will be his 3rd degree and then he's going for his APRN.
Yesterday he told me, "I could be anything I want to." Why don't I make the most of the opportunity? Why would I want to work for someone else and make them money? What he doesn't understand is that I am doing what I love.
He's talks to me about trying to find a part time job to bring in a bit of money. Then he says that's silly because he can make in one day of OT what I would make in a week. Back and forth it goes.
My mom gave me her creative gene. I love architecture and design, especially interior design. My past 15 years has been in the real estate industry. There is no market for it and so I struggle with direction. Do I follow my heart or do what's practical in this economy and go into the medical field or even education?
I love homeschooling my kids. The past month my youngest son has made amazing progress toward reading. He has autism spectrum disorder (ASD) and is developmentally delayed. To see him begin reading brought tears to my eyes. He knew it and it was one those proud mom moments. He's gaining confidence and it is brilliant to see. I know Brian wouldn't get the one on one attention he needs from public school and Mike and I feel so strongly about homeschooling both.
Lets face it, we're 43 and don't want to work until we're 70. Do I take the valuable resource of time and put it in my kids and family or get dig back into the job market and bank on future retirement? I don't mean to sound so literal.
I'm rambling and I know this post isn't as clear as I would like it to be but this is me thinking out loud.
In the meantime, I have taken on the task of de-cluttering and organizing the house. We have more 'stuff' than I thought and next week will have a big garage sale! If I can't organize and de-clutter my brain the house will have to do. Then I'll tackle life.
Have a Great Weekend!