We got a good start this morning out of Maryland and into D.C. morning rush hour. Thankfully the car's temp stayed normal. I knew the morning rush hour would be bad but I forgot how "bad" it really is. It was cloudy with sprinkles. Then as soon as we got in the thick of it there was a torrential downpour the entire time with traffic limping along. Even though the car's temp. stayed we couldn't turn on the air. So it was a humid damp ride. In NYC there was a lot of loud traffic and really expensive toll roads. I was surprised how expensive it is. I think it cost us about $20.00.
To make a long story short. We made it with no issues from the car. I offered a Hail Mary for that! The kids got car weary and we tried to hang in there...but the 20th time I turned around to tell my sons to stop bickering, buckle up tight, stop arguing and its your brother's turn I lost it. I lost the fun and excitement. I was getting broken down a bit from the long haul and we were both tired and grumpy from the long day of driving. Maybe I built expectations I shouldn't have? It wouldn't be the first time. But I'm a realist. I understand the logistics in making a life move at 43 with the family, dog and 3 cats is not easy.
My husband is on the fence about moving. He wants out of Florida but he hates change. It is hard for him to solidly commit to a specific place. I keep asking but he always says it doesn't matter. Tonight after we got the boys settled down he told me we need to have a outline of where we want to go and what to do. I asked him what he would like. He wants to go to his old hangouts in Ma.
I like it, but I also want to stay focused on finding an area of Ct. we can move to. The places we wanted to see today got sidelined once by my ASD 8 yr. old refusing to let me look around at a winery and homestead store in the Danbury area. Before we left, I chose the town for us to stay in tonight. My husband didn't like either of the 2 inns and said it the town wasn't central enough. So we drove further north and found a place in Ma. This took us a couple hours and when we couldn't find any hotels I asked him to stop and ask directions. I got the directions from a shopper that ironically has family in Jacksonville Fl and she moved to Ct. A sign?
Everyone is asleep now. Mike wants to go to his sister's house tomorrow instead of Friday to save on hotels and maybe he's right. It's practical. I just know that it will be the end of our exploring Ct. finding antique shops, which I love and hanging out. Selfish? I'm going to say "Yes, I am". I've only been here once before and I really want to check it out before the family reunion on Saturday.
Ultimately, the writing is on the wall. I don't believe we will be moving anytime soon. Mike has a good job and we have a house and have been in Jax 12 years. To decide to move and then put the entire plan in motion is stressful. Find a job, house, in a nice town with great schools and move the entire contents of our current home and then find renters for it and make sure it is maintained. I can see the reality of my dream more clearly from my hotel room in Ma. tonight than I ever could from Florida. This dream has little possibility of making it until my husband genuinely wants it as much as I do.
I love typing my thoughts out loud. If anyone reads all of this, I am Sorry! It helps me better understand and form a better thought process. I'll be a small farm girl in my heart until further notice. So, tomorrow it's antique stores and a grande tour of Mike's old neighborhoods and UMASS. Then to his sisters house on the east side of Ct.
Peace to all of you and I pray all your dreams be realized and fulfilled!
I haven't completed a spell check and am so tired. I apologize now for mistakes and will clean them up when rested.
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