My Little Hamlet

I live in a quaint, old neighborhood in the middle of a town that thinks it's a city.  The tiny houses sit on a half loop with large lots, all built in the 1940's.   When you go for a walk, you see couples that have lived here their entire lives.  We are the (proud) 2nd owners of our home that was build in 1949.    The Chambliss couple raised their 3 children in this tiny house on the curve of the loop.  The other homes look much the same as ours.  

Over the years some of the houses became rentals and the one across the street is empty.  The woman that lived there passed away and her daughter comes by twice a month to do the lawn.  The mailman stops to say hi on his way through our yards.  There are a few kids, the same age group as my boys, that play in the street with all the parents keeping a safe eye out for them.

It seems so idyllic.  But is it a typical street?  What is typical anymore.  The more I get to know my neighbors (especially through our kids playing with theirs) the more  I realize nothing is what it seems.
The renters just a few houses down are ex-felons.  A Meth maker dad and recovering crack/meth addict mom that have the 2 sweetest, most adorable kids you will ever meet.  They are too young to play with my boys but always come by to say hi.  How do I know about them?  Mom came over when they first moved in and told me her life story as she picked at her arms for invisible bugs.

Gabe was a great friend to the boys early last year.  He had some anger issues but was boisterous and lots of fun with the boys.  One night we were going to dinner and noticed 5 police cars and a ambulance in his drive. I couldn't find out anything.  We didn't see Gabe for months.  A neighbor told us and soon after Gabe visited and filled in the gaps.  His mother and step father were arrested for selling drugs and there was an 'illegal drug' in Gabe's closet that his step dad was hiding from the police.  Gabe told me it was a poisonous plant and that's why they were sent to jail.  Now he lives with his Grandmother and Aunt.  Before all this happened he told me about the many dads he had.  I say many prayers for these kids.  It doesn't seem right.  They are so full of life and sweet.  I hope they stay that way.

The week of my birthday (November) my sons' best friend Ed got mad when my kids laughed when a trick he did on his scooter didn't work right and the boys laughed.  It was all in fun.  However, he went home and told his dad.  The dad later saw my boys riding their bikes by his house and chased them down the middle of the road screaming at the top of his lungs for them to come back or else.  They ran to the closest friends house where the mom told the "dad" to back off and go home.  I went over to talk to the dad and figure out what happened and was verbally attacked (with my youngest son next to me, scared and crying).  This dad was clearly irrational and afraid for myself and children told him and his family to stay away or I would have to call the police.  (Of course this always happens when Mike is at work!)   The dad didn't feel he needed to talk to me about my kids when there was a problem and that "he would take care of them himself"!  So there was another friend my kids lost.

Zoe is the only girl on the street. She told Alex her dad did drugs while she visited her grandmother. I learned the mother was getting a divorce due to the drugs and infidelity.  Yes, she caught him in the act.  Zoe is friends with Ed so no more friends with her either.

Today, the newest member to my neighborhood came to visit my husband while I was out running errands.  She has her son every other weekend and he and Alex are best friends.  This was the 2nd time she has done this.  The first time I was Christmas shopping and she came over 2 different times to hang out and talk to my husband.  It's interesting that she never comes over when I'm home (which is every day).  Today she pulled out all the stops coming over drunk and started hitting on him.  He told her to back off, he is a happily married man.  (I know it sounds cliche, but my boys were there, sad as that is!)  She was telling my husband how good looking he is and how her husband mentally and physically abuses her.  Then continued with the "I wish my husband were as nice as you".  Needless to say, the 1/2 of me that is Portuguese came out and I was so mad.   He bought her sad song and dance and felt sorry for her.  Good thing she was gone when I got home.
But, this is the mother of the only kid that my kids play with in our neighborhood.  He's a good kid and I don't want to ruin it for Alex and Bri.

Where is the responsiblity to teach values, respect and love to our children.  What example is this generation establishing?   I was talking to my youngest Bri after my outburst tonight. He is very sensitive and not used to me getting really mad (he's used to me nagging about cleaning his room brushing his teeth) and I sat with him to explain why I was upset.  He is so insightful sometimes, it just grabs me...

He said, "You know what mom, we need to move.  So much has happened and it's different now. We lost 2 cats in October, Ed's dad wanted to beat me and Alex up, and the pit bull that runs and rottweiler scare me. Lot's of bad stuff have happened."  I had to agree.  I assured him, in time we would find our farm and until then he is safe.  He is so scared of Ed's dad he won't ride his bike by their house anymore.  What a shame.  My son is afraid of the neighborhood that is home.

The American Dream is just that. An illusion of days gone by.  I would love to cocoon my 1/4 acre away from the neighbors but that isn't what community is about.  I'm disenchanted now.  Do we stay and save or look for very cheap greener pastures.
What is community?  There should be a reason to stay.  I can't think of ONE!

I pray for patience, I pray for the kids in the neighborhood, I pray for peace and...I pray for 5 acres in the rolling hills of the Blue Ridge Mountains.  A little place I'd like to call home!!!

Peace to you and yours, now and always!